According to hundreds of years of patriarchal influence, movies, literature, and everything else that makes up the cultural associations with matrimony, men are the ones who instigate marriage. Men are supposed to decide they want to marry the woman they are courting, find a ring that reflects his intentions and feelings for the woman, and then surprise her with said ring.
Supposedly, women want to be surprised with the ring, but not only does this put a lot of pressure on the man, the woman is at a disadvantage; where the man has had weeks, sometimes months to think everything through, the woman has to make the biggest decision of her life on the spot. To start the journey of marriage off right, look over these reasons why you should let your girlfriend choose her engagement ring.
You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea
Many women thinking about marriage know what they want in an engagement ring. Others know what they don’t want, or have no idea at all. Unless she’s been dropping hints, or made her opinions about jewelry crystal clear, there’s no way to read a woman’s mind perfectly when it comes to an engagement ring.
Sure, the ring is supposed to be a reflection of your love for her, but you’re not the one who will be wearing it for the rest of your life. Settling for a ring that doesn’t suit her style, or she just doesn’t like, to spare your feelings will not foster the right environment to start a marriage.
She May Want the Opportunity
Even if you have discussed marriage with her, she may find it difficult to discuss the ring with you because she is supposed to want to be surprised. Maybe she does want to be surprised, but also wants to look at rings outside of a magazine.
Either way, asking her if she would like to go with you to check out engagement rings will not only tell her you are considering proposing, thereby giving her a heads up to start thinking about her answer, but will also give her the opportunity to clearly choose what she wants out of the process. Even if she chooses the surprise, she will likely give you an idea of what she would like. If she doesn’t, asking her is the best way to go if you have no idea where to start.
Choosing Together Brings You Together
What could prepare a couple for the many difficult decisions of marriage more than picking out an engagement ring together? This way you will learn about one another, spend some true quality time together, and come out with a ring that reflects the love of a whole, not a half.
The issue of cost also comes into play here. If you insist on paying for the ring, discussing a price limit will give both of you practice with money matters. Yes, instead of going for the expensive ring she’s in love with she may opt for a cheaper ring out of concern for your bank account, but compromise is not a bad thing. You both will be doing a lot of compromising in the future.
The One That Came Out of Left Field
Many women who have gone with their boyfriends have stories about finding the perfect ring that was completely different from what either originally had in mind. She may think she knows what she wants, and you may think you know what she wants, but The One might not be what you think.
Choosing to begin a life together is an amazing process, and the right ring is just the start. Your girlfriend, the woman who will be your companion, confidante, and partner, deserves to be included.